Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A Weight Watcher’s Reverse Resolutions

1. I won’t eat cold beans from a can.

2. I won’t hide in the pantry when I lick icing off the beaters.

3. I won’t complain about audacious fast food. That would be lying.

4. I won’t condemn that new Friendly’s 1,500-calorie grilled cheeseburger melt — a burger encased in two grilled cheese sandwiches. They’ve installed defibrillators under the seats, worst-case-scenario.

• • • I wish I'd thought of it • • •

5. I won’t store a Snicker’s bar in my glove compartment to prevent starvation in case I’m stranded in snow or have to wait a long time at a red light.

6. I won’t buy canned frosting and ask my boyfriend to eat it while I watch.

7. I won’t substitute Spam for my Easter ham. Period. End of discussion.

8. I won’t serve poutine (more when you get to No. 13) to guests.

9. I won’t pry the lithium battery out of my Weight Watcher’s scale again this year.

10. I won’t buy peanut butter. Sorry. Scratch that.

11. I won’t eat peanut butter from a butcher knife. A bread knife is OK though.

12. I won’t promise anything I can’t do. So No. 2, the one about poutine, I’m having some second thoughts. Cooking Light has a great recipe for poutine, an ingenious French Canadian dish made of French fries, brown gravy and cheese curds. It’s a good workout for the heart muscle, I’m pretty sure. So poutine’s OK too.


  1. I love poutine(Pronounced poo-TSIN in deep Quebec)! My vegetarian sister and her Quebecois partner, Pierrot, used to make the gravy with miso, and with home made (organic) french fries. YUUMMMM.

  2. All very reasonable. Me too.